Since God has forgiven you, you need to answer God’s call to forgive the people who have hurt you in the past. Most people’s family histories are full of pain from conflicts, broken trust, and disappointments. Carrying unforgiveness into a family gathering will prevent you from connecting with your family members as God intends, and it will harm you by poisoning you with bitterness. Stop carrying grudges and choose to forgive, with God’s help. Ephesians 4:32 urges you to: “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” When you forgive, you’re not forgetting or minimizing the wrongs a family member has committed against you. All you’re doing is deciding to release the debt the offending person owes you, just as God has released your own debt of sin by giving you the ultimate forgiveness that saves you spiritually. Choosing to forgive family members who have hurt you is a one-time decision you’ll likely need to reaffirm many, many times – and God will help every single time. In Matthew 18:21-22, Peter asks Jesus how many times he should forgive the people who sin against him and suggests up to seven times. Jesus replies: “not seven times, but seventy times seven” – which is a way of emphasizing that there’s actually no limit to how many times we should forgive people. When you choose to forgive, you create space for the Holy Spirit to bring peace into the relationship. Forgiving the person releases you from the bitterness and allows God to deal with the debt, but it doesn’t require you to reconcile if the relationship is unhealthy. You can forgive and still maintain a necessary boundary, especially in cases where someone has repeatedly hurt you. But it’s essential to answer God’s call to forgive faithfully.
In conclusion, navigating family tension during the holidays can be a challenging experience. Still, it also presents significant opportunities to live out your faith with the people God has placed in your life. God will help you every step of the way as you rely on him during family gatherings this holiday season. You may not be able to fix every family relationship, but you can certainly trust that God’s love will be with you during the holidays.
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