A classic Christmas song describes the season as “the most wonderful time of the year.” However, for many among us, it’s just the opposite. The holidays can be the most painful time of the year for people who are grieving the loss of a loved one.
A survey conducted by the American Psychiatric Association in 2024 found nearly half of all adults said that grieving a loss or missing a loved one was one of the top stressors during the holidays.
We often feel the pain most acutely during the first Christmas without a loved one. However, even if the person has been gone longer than that, it can still hurt a great deal, especially when thinking about the holidays we spent with them or doing holiday activities we used to enjoy with them.
Sam Hodges, president of GriefShare, a Christian support system for people experiencing grief, told CBN News that people feeling a sense of loss during the holidays can find help.
“A lot of times, you might not even feel like celebrating, but everybody else around you is, and you don’t want to feel like you are discouraging other people. You don’t want to feel like a ‘Debbie Downer,’ so to speak,” he said. ” And so the holidays can be very, very confusing.”
That’s why GriefShare released the book, Survival Guide: Navigating the Holidays After Loss.
“It’s really important to figure out, ‘Okay, how am I going to approach these holidays differently and how am I going to do it in a way that I can actually survive?'” Hodges said.
One way is to create a plan for get-togethers.
“That can be something as simple as having a buddy to go with you who can take you and you can leave at a certain time without having to stay the whole time,” Hodge said. “Or you can let people know ahead of time, ‘Yeah, I’m coming… but I’m only going to stay for an hour. Or you can let people know, ‘I may not show up that day. I’ll have to let you know the day-of.'”
Honoring those who passed can also help manage the grief.
“Talking with other family members to say, ‘This evening we’re going to light a candle and talk about Uncle Mitch,’ or, ‘We’re going to say a prayer and say just how thankful we are for Cousin Barbara,'” Hodges said.
Another option involves creating new traditions.
“I remember we talked to a person who went on a cruise to do something different during the holidays as opposed to celebrating at home,” Hodges said. “You can get really, really creative.”
In addition to the book, GriefShare also oversees holiday grief support group meetings in churches and communities nationwide.
“When you go to griefshare.org, you can find out how to find a group, join a group, or you can find out how to get a group started in your church,” Hodges said.
Finally, if you know someone who’s grieving this Christmas, experts recommend letting them know you care.
“Sometimes you don’t know what you should say, and sometimes you don’t have to say anything,” Hodges said. “It’s just so much better for you just to be present and sit with people.”
So while the holidays can be painful for those experience grief, there are ways to get by and even find joy during the season.
