by Aaron Schaper, LPCC
Freaking out. Exploding. Breaking down. Losing it. However you describe it, emotional outbursts are a part of being human. These reactions can look very different, from shutting down and avoiding communication to yelling, snapping, or breaking things. At times, they can negatively affect our well-being, our relationships, and the environments we live and work in.
While we can’t completely avoid intense or uncomfortable emotions, we can learn ways to better understand what’s happening in our brains and bodies and how to respond more intentionally.
A Simple Model of the Brain
Take a moment to look at your hand. Open it, tuck your thumb into your palm, and then fold your fingers over your thumb. You’ve just created a simple model of your brain! (Here is a more detailed description of Dr. Dan Siegel’s Hand Model of the Brain.)
In this model, your thumb represents the amygdala, the emotional center of the brain. The amygdala plays a critical role in keeping us safe by activating the well-known “fight or flight” response when we sense danger. This response prepares our bodies to react quickly to threats.
However, while the amygdala is designed to protect us, it isn’t always accurate. Sometimes it overestimates danger, especially in situations that are emotionally charged but not truly threatening.
Your fingers represent the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for rational thinking, problem-solving, impulse control, and decision-making. When the prefrontal cortex is engaged, we are better able to pause, think clearly, and respond thoughtfully.
When emotions run high, the amygdala can take over and the prefrontal cortex becomes less active. This is what’s often referred to as “flipping your lid.” In those moments, logic and reasoning take a back seat, and reactions tend to be more impulsive or intense.
Why Grounding Helps
The good news is that we can intentionally help re-engage the prefrontal cortex, even in moments of emotional overwhelm. One effective way to do this is through grounding.
Grounding involves bringing your attention back to the present moment by noticing what is happening around you in nonjudgmental, factual ways. Instead of focusing on what might happen or how intense the emotion feels, grounding asks simple questions such as: How many? What color? What size? What do I notice right now?
These types of observations activate the thinking part of the brain, helping calm the emotional center and restoring a sense of balance.
Emotional responses are not a sign of weakness or failure. God designed our bodies and brains with incredible complexity, including systems meant to protect and guide us. Even our stress responses reflect His “fearful and wonderful” design (Psalm 139:14), meant to alert us to danger and help us respond when something feels wrong.
At the same time, Scripture acknowledges that our hearts and minds will still be troubled at times. When emotions run high and we feel overwhelmed, we are reminded that we are not meant to deny or hide our feelings or navigate these moments alone. Instead, we can turn to God in prayer, reach out to a trusted friend or family member for support, and use grounding techniques to help re-engage our “thinking brain.”
Practical Grounding Techniques to Try
Like any skill, grounding becomes more effective with practice. Here are two simple techniques you can begin using right away:
5-4-3-2-1 Grounding
Take a moment to identify:
• 5 things you can see
• 4 things you can touch
• 3 things you can hear
• 2 things you can smell
• 1 thing you can taste
Be as detailed as possible.
The Five-Second Rule (especially helpful for kids and teens)
Take turns naming three items in a broad category within five seconds, such as three kinds of ice cream, sports teams, or books of the Bible. This playful activity keeps the brain engaged and focused on the present moment.
Moving Forward
Jesus offers a peace that goes deeper than circumstances or emotional states. In John 14:27, He says:
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”
Because Christ lived a perfect life in our place, we can rest in the peace He provides, even when our emotions feel intense or overwhelming. Grounding practices can serve as practical tools that help us slow down, re-engage our thinking, and more fully receive the peace God offers.
Flipping your lid doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means your brain is responding to stress. With awareness and practice, grounding skills can help you respond with greater wisdom and self-control, reflecting God’s peace in the midst of everyday challenges.
