Many congregations seem to expect women to get married, as though a spouse makes them whole.
Matt Hodges wrote, “Too often in church culture, we’re inclined to idolize marriage and downplay singleness. But those who enjoy and steward the gift of singleness remind us that Jesus is enough, and nothing else can truly satisfy.”
Hodges talks about the dignity of singleness — it is not necessarily an affliction nor a sign of inferiority or emotional problems.
Paul wrote, “To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion” (1 Corinthians 7:8-9).
When a single Christian woman believes she will sin because she is lonely, singleness feels very much like a curse.
But her singleness does not change her value to Christ; nor should it affect the way her church treats her. A single woman can still mentor other women, teach Sunday School, and participate in other areas of ministry.
The church needs to ask, “Do we include single women? Do they feel as though they belong?” Look at Bible studies and care groups: are any of them organized around women who share this marital state in common? And does the church assume single women only want to be with other unmarried women?
Many men are alert to the pitfalls of stereotyping, and they want to help change women’s experience in the church.
Women need to be sensitive to and grateful for the men who are happy to take on jobs that were always allotted to women in the past.
Part of the responsibility for changing the narrative falls on Christian women: they have to make room for men around the stew pot or on the nursery toys.
Furthermore, while giving men this opportunity, let the men take ownership without expecting them to cook or cradle as you do. If they serve like Christ, this is a beautiful result.
For further reading:
7 Lies Women Believe about Hospitality This Thanksgiving
5 Lies Women Believe about Their Place in the Family
Why the Church Needs Women
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