“He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” Matthew 19:4-6 NIV
When I was first married and heard that many couples separate or even divorce around the seven-year mark, I wondered why—it just didn’t seem to me that a marriage could sour in such a short period—assuming that after only seven years, I would still feel like I was on my honeymoon.
As I approached my sixth year of marriage, just shy of the infamous Seven Year Itch, we were thriving when happiness and satisfaction in many relationships markedly declined by marriage.
My marriage is “normal” in many ways; we have issues, too, but the most testing issues for us are a bit atypical. Many couples argue about money or child-rearing, or perhaps both, but most of our arguments stem from feeling unappreciated or undervalued by the other. We love each other deeply; my husband is my best friend and challenges me to be a better person each day, either directly or indirectly.
Fundamentally, we are very similar, but our personalities and perspectives couldn’t be more different. Admittedly, I exaggerate a bit, but the point is that although we differ in our approach to many things, since God is central to us, we usually arrive at the same destination, albeit we choose different paths.
Recently, while preparing for a week-long trip together to celebrate our anniversary, I wondered what my marriage would look like in the coming years. While too many of our friends’ marriages are plagued with constant conflict and discord, with some headed toward separation and, even worse, divorce, ours is going along pretty smoothly; ours seems okay. We made it through the “seven-year itch,” but will we survive being empty nesters or retiring together? Will the love and commitment that was once so strong continue to thrive, or will we move into maintenance mode?
Is your marriage just “okay”? What is keeping it from being good or even great? Often, the answer is found in our priorities. Although we readily claim that our marriage comes first, things that strengthen and solidify it are tossed aside when something “better” comes up. I feel that other things are more critical and need my immediate attention.
Many verses in the Bible refer to our hearts in conjunction with our treasures, the things we value. For you, is your treasure your job? Your kids? These are all essential things that we should prioritize and give attention to—but not at our spouses’ expense. Scripture tells us that marriage is the joining of two people; they become one, inseparable. Let us prioritize our marriages; besides the relationship with the Lord, it’s the most important commitment in our lives.
Prayer:
Heavenly Father, there are so many things vying for our time. Help us resist putting our spouse and marriage on the back burner. Let us be sensitive to our spouses’ needs, investing in our relationship with You and each other. We are grateful for the gift of marriage; let us never take for granted our companions. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Challenge:
Take a good look at where you are spending your time. Who gets the best part of you? Evaluate where your marriage ranks among your priorities. If it is not just behind your relationship with God, it’s time for a marriage makeover. Ask the Lord to help you prioritize your marriage and spouse.
Photo credit: © Getty Images/Goran13
Laura Bailey is an author and Bible teacher who encourages women to understand what they believe, why it matters, and how to apply biblical truths to their lives. Her recent book, Embracing Eternity in the Here and Now, explores how the timeless truths of Ecclesiastes help us live more peaceful, purposeful, and plentiful lives today.
She lives in Upstate South Carolina with her husband and three young girls, where she serves as director of women’s ministries at her church. Her passion is teaching the Bible to women, equipping them to live with an eternal perspective. Invite Laura to speak at your next event or learn more: www.LauraRBailey.com connect on Facebook and Instagram.
