February 27, 2026
The Freedom To Love Unconditionally
GLYNNIS WHITWER
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“Above all, put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.” Colossians 3:14 (CSB)
When my first adult child left the nest, he only went across town to go to college. Though thrilled to have him there, we were also thankful when he chose to come home almost every weekend. But I struggled to adapt to our new adult-to-adult relationship.
It came down to expectations. I expected him to want to spend time with the family — or more specifically, me. He had other plans: sleep.
So I started with little jabs about him staying out too late during the week, which I found out didn’t include trips to the library. After a few weeks of my critical comments, he respectfully said, “Mom, when you act like this, I don’t want to come home.”
Since that was the opposite of my intention, I immediately started praying for wisdom. I felt as though God spoke this hard truth to me: Let Me be his Holy Spirit. You love him unconditionally.
God’s response also brought relief. It wasn’t my responsibility to convict my adult son of his choices. That job was taken when my son accepted Jesus into his heart. Of course, there are times as parents or friends when we need to speak truth in love. But correction is never meant to replace the Spirit’s work of conviction. My job isn’t to pressure or shame — it’s to create an environment of love where truth can be received.
God gave me the freedom to love my son unconditionally, enjoy who he was becoming, and create a home where he wouldn’t feel judged for his choices.
Isn’t that what Jesus does for us? Jesus loves people into His Kingdom. Though He speaks hard truths at times, He never uses shame to draw people to Himself or motivate them to make different choices.
I was trying to change my son’s behavior with my comments, but I was only driving him away. The truth is that the gavel of judgment doesn’t belong in my hand. Jesus says the Holy Spirit convicts the world of sin and righteousness (John 16:8), and He does it perfectly.
My role is simpler: to put on love. The Apostle Paul reminds us in Colossians 3:14, “Above all, put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.” When I choose love over commentary, connection grows instead of distance.
There may still be moments when God prompts me to speak truth or set boundaries. But even then, love is the covering. Love listens before it lectures. Love points to Jesus more than to failure. And love always leaves room for the Spirit to do the deeper work of conviction.
Friend, what freedom it brings when we let the Holy Spirit do His work and we stick to ours. He convicts. We love. And when we live that way, our homes — and our relationships — become places people want to come back to.
Lord, thank You for reminding me that conviction is not my assignment. Give me wisdom on when to speak and when to say nothing. Help me to clothe myself in love and trust Your Spirit to do what only He can do. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
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ENGAGE
Have you ever wondered, What’s it really like to be my friend? How do other people feel in relationship with me? Lysa TerKeurst put together a free resource to help you find out! With Bible teaching and exercises to walk through, “What’s It Like To Do Life With Me?” provides insightful questions you can work through with a trusted friend to honestly assess areas in your life that may need attention.
FOR DEEPER STUDY
John 16:8, “When he comes, he will convict the world about sin, righteousness, and judgment …” (CSB).
Where might you be “holding the gavel” in your relationships? How would love look different if you laid down judgment today?
What have you learned about letting love lead your conversations? Share your thoughts in the comments.
© 2026 by Glynnis Whitwer. All rights reserved.
Proverbs 31 Ministries
P.O. Box 3189
Matthews, NC 28106
www.Proverbs31.org
