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Street Pastors founder Rev Les Isaac and his wife Louise have been married for 45 years, and have what he would describe as a “good” marriage”, even if it’s “not perfect”.
Speaking at an online event hosted by Keep the Faith magazine, he recalled how “tough” the first three years of marriage were, but says they have learnt a lot over the years and are passionate to support and encourage other married couples with their own wisdom and insight, describing this as their “motivation and ministry”.
Furthermore, they are passionate about encouraging and equipping churches to strengthen marriages, noting that even Christian couples struggle.
“Some years ago Louise coined this phrase: ‘The length of a marriage is not evidence of the health of the marriage,’” he said.
He continued, “Lots of marriages in the church and Christian marriage behind closed doors need some serious help and repair, which the Church is not responding to.”
Louise Isaac touched on how important it was to recognise the “spiritual context of marriage”, highlighting the enemy’s tendency to target anything God has labelled ‘good’.
She recalled an interesting conversation with a non-Christian friend: “A friend of mine some years ago said to me I love my partner but I will never marry him. As I asked why, she said her observation is that when her friends are living with their partners, they’re fine. The minute they get married something changes and there is friction and conflict at a far greater degree than there was before.”
She continued: “I think what this non-Christian woman was identifying was a spiritual dynamic that affects marriage.”
Louise Isaac said that the Church’s first response must be prayer and she asked the online audience if prayer for marriage was “consistently on their church’s agenda”.
Continuing on, she said that the Church needs to be “intentional” in how it supports relationships and invests in couples through marriage ministry.
In support of this, Rev Isaac, who received an OBE in 2012, urged church leaders to be honest with their congregations when talking about relationships, and take time to check in with married couples before it’s too late.
“Sometimes we’re struggling in our communication, struggling sexually, struggling financially. All these things are part of the journey. I often say to ministers that we only get to know there are problems in the marriage when they have gone to the solicitors to file for divorce,” he said.
He went on to observe that there is a tendency for congregations to believe that pastors and church leaders do not face obstacles within their own marriages, fostered by a “culture of silence” within the Church. Honesty from leaders about relationship issues will encourage church members to confide in them about their marital struggles, he believes.
“I believe there should be a relationship teaching series on a Sunday morning for everyone. I think the Church should have a series on family relationships and really bring up that biblical perspective of what a good relationship looks like,” he said.
Louise Isaac said while the Church has “a lot to do” and “a lot of challenges”, “God’s help can actually make journeying easier if we tap into what God is saying but also tap into where people are at and where they need to be.”
Rev Isaac was enthusiastic about how the Church can support marriages, especially if pastors learn to tap into the resources at their fingertips – the very people in their congregations.
“We are not suggesting that the pastors or the leadership has to do everything. We have a lot of skilled, gifted, and educated people within the church,” he said.
He added: “One of the things that we constantly encourage the Church to do is to find these people, empower them [and] set the framework so that they can function and be a source of encouragement to people.”
