Growing up, my mom was a very distant woman. She was part of a generation that didn’t believe parents were friends with their kids. Parents were parents, and children were children, and neither intermingled. She rarely played with me or spent much time with me. But she was great at enforcing rules and being an authority figure in my life.
At five years old, I wanted to finish watching TV. My mom made me turn the TV off and then do chores. I snapped back at her and told her no. She then yelled and told me to go to my room. My dad came home later that day and talked to me. He demanded that I apologize to my mother. I went out, and she was standing in the kitchen. I burst into tears before I could even blurt out the words, “I’m sorry.” She hugged me and told me never to do it again. She reiterated that she was the mother and that I would listen to her and do as she told me.
Although this is a suitable parenting style, it skewed my view when it came to understanding God more deeply. Growing up Catholic, I knew about God, but I did not know him. Because my mother was the central authority figure in my life, I believe that God was a distant entity, sitting on a throne with a massive flyswatter, waiting for me to mess up.
The minute I sinned, he would swat the fly swatter and pay me back restitution for all that I had done. I didn’t understand grace for many years of Christianity. I believed in a works-based salvation where if you did good, God rewarded you. If you did evil, God punished you.
Because I didn’t fully understand grace, it was difficult for me to reconnect with God after I had sinned. After I snarked at a colleague, snapped at my husband, was the poor steward of my finances, or told a lie, I had difficulty understanding God’s forgiveness. Much like my mother, I felt God become distant.
Although that’s not how God works, that was what I understood. If I believed my sin could not be atoned for and maintained my distance from God. I stopped praying. I attended church but didn’t enjoy it. I often wouldn’t touch my Bible for weeks or even months.
I fooled myself into thinking that I could do life without God. I could have them but didn’t have to connect with them. As life often does, it got the best of me. Trial after trial happened, and I desperately wanted God back in my life. Even if he could never forgive me for what I had done, it was still better having him in my life than cutting them out completely. In the moments when I cried out to God and reconnected with him, I understood him better and more intimately. Here’s how I learned to reconnect with God:
I Listened
Instead of going through my regular prayer routine, simply stating everything in my heart, I listened to him. Some days, I heard nothing. But sometimes, I heard God whisper things to my heart. One time, God whispered to my heart that he loved me. This brought me to tears. It was difficult for me to love myself despite what I had done. It was difficult for me to believe that a God could love me after what I had done.
When you hear from God, does it align with Scripture? Sometimes, we feel like we’re hearing from God, but we’re hearing from the enemy. It’s important to discern between the two. If you are hearing words that align with Scripture and God’s promises, more than likely, you’re hearing from God. Hearing from God and allowing him to whisper affirmations into your heart is a great way to reconnect with him. It reminds us that our worth is not settled in what we do but in who we know.
I Sought Counsel
Life is never meant to be done in a vacuum. So often, we live a Christian life on our own. We need the help of people within our community that can help us reconnect with God. Hearing people’s testimonies before and after knowing the Lord will help remind us that we are not alone.
Because we isolate ourselves, we often think we’re the only ones who commit sins. We usually don’t seek God’s forgiveness because we believe we’re the only ones. We believe that other people deserve his love more than we do.
But we need to hear from others who encourage us to let us know and remind us of the Scriptures. It is easy to forget the Scriptures when we are steeped in sin. When we cannot forgive ourselves, we give the enemy a foothold. It permits him to continue to whisper lies into our minds. When we get together with others, and they remind us of our worth and Christ’s mercy, we can reconnect with God like never before.
I Sought Solitude
Not only was it essential for me to seek the help of my community, but it was also helpful for me to get along with God. Solitude and silence are two spiritual practices that are not often practiced today. We usually spend our days flitting from activity to activity, but we rarely spend all the time alone with God. Throughout Scripture, many biblical people took the time to spend with God. They heard from him and allowed him to guide their lives.
I reconnected with God when I made space for him. This meant I had to cut out all distractions. I needed to unplug my phone, get away from my family, and spend time away alone. Silent retreats have also been an excellent way for me to reconnect with God. It helps me not only to clear my mind if anything in my mind and heart that I haven’t spoken to God about already, but it also allows God to whisper into my heart things that I may need to confess, plans he has for my life, or instructions for what he wants me to do.
Reconnecting with God means hearing from him. But it is difficult to hear from him when we often allow many people to drown out his voice through distractions. Many things fight for our attention, even good things like spending time with their families, work, and happiness. But God wants to vie for our time and will not force his way into our lives. He wants us to enjoy him and to carve out time for him. If we reconnect with God, I must make space for him, even when inconvenient or uncomfortable.
Not only is it vital for us to reconnect with God regularly, but it is also essential for us to constantly confess our sins and repent so that we can live lives, our souls can be clean, and our lives can be fully connected to God.
Jesus spent time in lonely places and prayed. His example is one that we should follow. Jesus was attached to his father because he made space for him. In the same way, we need to make space for God by spending time in solitude, seeking the help of wise counsel, and listening to his voice.
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Michelle S. Lazurek is a multi-genre award-winning author, speaker, pastor’s wife, and mother. She is a literary agent for Wordwise Media Services and host of The Spritual Reset Podcast. Her new children’s book Hall of Faith encourages kids to understand God can be trusted. When not working, she enjoys sipping a Starbucks latte, collecting 80s memorabilia, and spending time with her family and her crazy dog. For more info, please visit her website www.michellelazurek.com.
