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A new report is challenging familiar assumptions about the struggles facing young men, arguing that the problem is better understood as discouragement than indifference.
Published by the Institute for Family Studies, “America’s Demoralized Men” draws on a YouGov survey of 2,000 US men aged 18 to 29 conducted in early April 2025.
The authors say the findings point to a generation that still wants work, marriage, family and purpose, but often feels blocked from reaching those goals.
Public debate has increasingly portrayed young men as falling behind – educationally, economically and socially.
Commentators have pointed to declining college completion, weaker job prospects, isolation, and growing concern about addiction, mental health and online culture. But the report says those realities do not tell the full story.
Rather than finding widespread apathy, researchers describe a gap between “worthy aspirations” and “trying circumstances”.
In their telling, many young men have not abandoned traditional hopes for adulthood but are struggling to reach them in a changing social and economic landscape.
The study examined several popular explanations for the difficulties facing young men.
One view stresses structural shifts such as labour market changes and school environments that have reduced opportunities.
Another blames idleness, arguing that too many young men have retreated into digital distraction and drift.
A third suggests that confused ideas about masculinity and the influence of online subcultures, known as the “manosphere,” have left many socially and emotionally adrift.
The survey, however, paints a more complicated picture.
Researchers found that young men now place greater emphasis on personal responsibility (55%) and financial independence (53%) than on traditional milestones such as full-time employment (34%) formal education (31%), parenthood (25%) or marriage (22%).
Yet those more traditional achievements still appear to matter deeply in practice.
Men who were married, had children, worked full-time, or had completed college or vocational training were much more inclined to say they had certainly entered adulthood.
Even so, a strong sense of adulthood remained elusive for many.
Fewer than half (41%) of men in their mid-to-late twenties said they fully felt they had arrived there.
The report also found that relationships remain a major area of frustration.
Nearly six in ten (59%) respondents said they were not romantically involved with anyone at the time. Yet most single men (74%) said they were open to dating, and large majorities (68%) of unmarried men said they hoped to marry someday. Most childless respondents (62%) also said they desired to become parents one day.
That suggests, the authors argue, that young men are not turning away from family life so much as struggling to establish it.
Financial insecurity (32%), unstable work (25%), uncertainty about commitment (36%) and anxiety about finding the right partner (44%) all emerged as barriers.
Higher education also appears to be viewed with mixed feelings.
Even among men who were in college or had already earned a degree, half questioned whether a four-year course was worth the cost, and 60% felt they could still find decent work without going to university.
At the same time, trade schools and apprenticeships emerged as a strong alternative.
Men who had completed vocational routes, but not a bachelor’s degree, were employed at rates close to those of university graduates – 77% vs 80% – suggesting technical training may provide a more effective path for some.
That was especially notable for men with learning-related conditions such as ADHD, autism or dyslexia.
According to the report, these men were much less likely to complete a four-year degree but were about as likely as others to finish a trade programme or apprenticeship.
Even so, the report noted that blue-collar work still carries a social stigma, with 63% of young men believing those in such jobs are looked down on as less intelligent.
The findings also push back on the idea that young men are being shaped mainly by controversial internet personalities.
When asked about role models, respondents were far more likely to name parents, with 79% mentioning their mothers and 69% their fathers, followed by 57% who looked up to their teachers and coaches, rather than public figures.
Among well-known names, former US President Barack Obama ranked most positively, while influencer Andrew Tate ranked least favourably.
On masculinity, the report says respondents expressed concern that manhood is frequently perceived negatively in wider society.
But their own views did not align with the harsher stereotypes often associated with the online “manosphere.”
No less than 85% agreed that being a man involves sacrifice, responsibility, strength and leadership, but the authors argue that the wider findings undercut the assumption that young men are broadly embracing “toxic masculinity”.
Instead, they say many still hold to relational and duty-based ideals, even while feeling uncertain about their place in modern society.
The most striking finding may be the level of self-doubt.
Using a question drawn from the Rosenberg Self-Esteem Scale, the researchers found that many respondents – 46% of men aged 18-23 and 38% of men aged 24-29 – felt the statement “All in all, I am inclined to think that I am a failure” described them at least somewhat well.
The report says this points to something deeper than disappointment: a wider and “frankly heartbreaking” sense of demoralisation.
Nonetheless, the authors insist the data should not be read as evidence that young men have given up. They say the problem is not a lack of aspiration, but frustration at the difficulty of achieving their aspirations.
Many respondents wanted stable work, a decent standard of living, marriage, children and social respect, yet felt unsure how to attain those things or pessimistic that they would achieve them any time soon.
