COMMENTARY
I knew my daughter was not a mistake. I also knew that raising her was going to be very hard.
These competing realizations – prompted by a positive pregnancy test when I was just 15 – may have deterred some girls from choosing life. Thankfully, I didn’t have to undergo an unwanted abortion because I was blessed to have support.
The opposite is true for the 6 out of 10 American women with a history of abortion, who say a lack of support or resources pressured them into this undesirable choice. My experience has shown me that truly promoting a culture of life starts in the families, friends, and communities that show up and stand by women as they navigate the unexpected.
Many young women who have unexpected pregnancies in their teens face at least some level of abortion coercion. I feared such pressure because from the moment I saw the two pink lines on my pregnancy test, I knew I would never do anything to harm my beautiful baby.
Thankfully, my grandparents supported this choice and provided unconditional love and encouragement. Their willingness to go with me to appointments, to talk through my fears, and to pay for my treatments, care, and baby-related expenses is truly the reason my daughter is alive, happy, and building her own future today.
My high school also offered critical, innovative support to me and other classmates, providing an example for high schools across America. In 2006, my high school opened a day care for several students who were pregnant so that they could continue their education. The only stipulation was that we had to eat lunch with our babies – who could say no to that?
Despite the stigma and judgment I perceived from other classmates – which at times was difficult to bear – I was grateful that school administrators cared enough about me and my daughter to help both of us and enable me to achieve my high school diploma.
The daycare program at school was an affirmation to me and other moms in the program that we could do this, and that someone had our back.
The school had my back again later, when I began taking steps towards securing a job in my senior year, so that I could be financially independent and raise my daughter. Another school program let students leave early to work. I started work then at the local grocery store, where I worked for five years.
Later, I worked at a restaurant under a manager who respected my strong work ethic. When she found a job at a new company, she brought me on as her front office coordinator. I’ll never forget her kindness in thinking of me and wanting to help me achieve a higher-profile role despite lacking a college degree.
After years of being on the receiving end of such blessings, I decided to give back by supporting other women. I connected with Young Lives, which is run by my now dear friend and supports local teens facing unexpected pregnancies.
The program offers emotional and spiritual support to the moms involved. Each time we meet, it’s encouraging to see the hope in each young woman’s face and the lovely community we are proud to surround them with. And each time they leave – buoyed by friendship and a chance to catch their breath, we make sure to also send them home with diapers, wipes, and even on special occasions, fun and girly self-care products.
I know firsthand how valuable such support is because I was in their shoes and was lucky enough to never go without it. Unfortunately, this is not true for many women across America, who may face pressure from their partners, families, or doctors to have unwanted abortions.
What about their choice?
In my experience, I knew no matter how intimidated I was by choosing life, there was no world in which I’d abort my daughter. Polling indicates that most women feel the same way that I did – yet it’s heartbreaking how many have been pressured into abortions they didn’t want because they lacked basic resources or support.
They may not know that there are countless resources available to them at the nearly 3,000 pregnancy resource centers nationwide; they may not know that there are good people in their community who want to support them. They may not know how beautiful their life can be with their child.
Many simply do not know that there is hope.
It’s up to those of us who champion real choice for women to make sure that they do by stepping up in our local communities and families to support precious babies and moms in need.
Kayla Henry is a mother of two in Tennessee.
NEED HELP? Click on My Choice Network to find a pregnancy clinic nearby, or visit OptionLine.org.
