<\/p>\n
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those\u00a0<\/span>who\u00a0<\/span>are<\/span>\u00a0crushed<\/span>\u00a0in spirit. Psalm 34:18<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n This<\/span>\u00a0will be the third holiday season without my mom, and while in some ways this heavy burden of grief has gotten a bit easier to carry, the heaviness in my heart and the emptiness in my stomach remain. In full transparency, I have come to realize that this pain and sorrow will always be a part of me, so I clumsily try to embrace it. Yet, the questions, even though they have changed over the years, still loom over me.<\/span><\/p>\n “Will I be able to walk into the craft store this year without being brought to tears?”<\/span><\/p>\n “Can I recreate my mom’s famous cornbread stuffing without the guilt that she isn’t making it?<\/span>“<\/span><\/p>\n “<\/span>Is the joy that once came with this season ever going to return?”<\/span><\/p>\n The emotional turmoil grief ushers in during the holidays can\u00a0<\/span>truly<\/span>\u00a0steal our peace and bring us to some very dark and uncomfortable places. Yet, while everyone else seemed absent and void, I still recall the kind and gentle gestures my husband extended to me, especially as I walked into that\u00a0<\/span>very<\/span>\u00a0first season without my beloved mom.<\/span><\/p>\n If your spouse is wading through grief this holiday season, my heart goes out to you. Watching a loved one succumb to the emotional highs and lows and mental strain grief brings during the holidays can be rough and<\/span>, dare I say,<\/span>\u00a0downright brutal.\u00a0<\/span>Honestly,<\/span>\u00a0you have a heavy burden to carry, and it may come with many other strings attached.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>Not only are you striving to remain strong when your spouse is weak, but you are picking up the slack in so many\u00a0<\/span>other<\/span>\u00a0areas\u00a0<\/span>as well<\/span>.<\/span>\u00a0That may come with trying to keep the season\u00a0<\/span>special<\/span>\u00a0for your children or tending to the everyday mundane tasks that have been pushed aside and forgotten.\u00a0<\/span>So, in saying that, be sure to take care of\u00a0<\/span>yourself,<\/span>\u00a0because\u00a0<\/span>in<\/span>\u00a0reality, you can’t\u00a0<\/span>properly<\/span>\u00a0give to your grieving spouse if you are continually running on empty.<\/span><\/p>\n On the other hand, maybe you have tried to support your spouse, and it hasn’t gone over too well, or you\u00a0<\/span>aren’t<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>really<\/span>\u00a0sure<\/span>\u00a0where to start, and it all feels so intimidating and overwhelming.<\/span>\u00a0That is\u00a0<\/span>totally<\/span>\u00a0valid and understandable.\u00a0<\/span>This<\/span>\u00a0is a very delicate issue and can be rather\u00a0<\/span>difficult<\/span>\u00a0to navigate. That said, devise a plan now before we get too deep into the holidays that will allow you to support your spouse and meet their needs in a personal and specific way.<\/span><\/p>\n Open Up a Conversation<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n It’s\u00a0<\/span>important<\/span>\u00a0that you acknowledge<\/span>\u00a0your spouse’s profound loss. It can be as simple as saying, “I’m sorry. I know you are hurting, and I am here for you.<\/span>“<\/span>\u00a0Then, let them know that you will do your best to pick up on cues, giving them the ability to lead. For instance, if you sense they need time to be alone, take the kiddos out of the house\u00a0<\/span>for a bit<\/span>. Or if they look like they want to say something but appear lost in a fog of grief, lean in and remind them you are there.\u00a0<\/span>If you are unsure what they need,\u00a0<\/span>just<\/span>\u00a0ask.<\/span><\/p>\n Simple Gestures<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n Your wife might open the box of ornaments and burst into tears, or your husband may stand in the hallway and recount a\u00a0<\/span>memory,<\/span>\u00a0frozen in time.\u00a0<\/span>This<\/span>\u00a0is when a simple gesture could\u00a0<\/span>not only<\/span>\u00a0offer\u00a0<\/span>support<\/span>,<\/span>\u00a0but<\/span>\u00a0remind them they are not alone and dearly loved.<\/span>\u00a0Here are a few ways you can love and support your spouse:<\/span><\/p>\n -Just be present and listen.<\/span><\/p>\n -Share a\u00a0<\/span>special<\/span>\u00a0memory of their loved one.<\/span><\/p>\n -Offer a hug or hold out your hand for them to cling to.<\/span><\/p>\n -Help with everyday tasks such as cooking and cleaning.<\/span><\/p>\n -Deliver self-care by bringing them a plate of food or setting up a warm bubble bath.<\/span><\/p>\n A Prayer for You and Your Spouse:<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n Faithful Father, I\u00a0<\/span>am humbled<\/span>\u00a0by Your love and the beauty\u00a0<\/span>that<\/span>\u00a0this season holds, but as You\u00a0<\/span>well<\/span>\u00a0know, we are\u00a0<\/span>holding<\/span>\u00a0heavy hearts.<\/span>\u00a0Grief has found a way of tainting this season, and I am desperate for Your love, comfort, and peace. God, I know You draw close to the brokenhearted and see the pain and sorrow of the afflicted; You consider our grief and take it all into Your loving hands. So, today, I place this heavy burden in Your mighty hands, and lay the grief my spouse is enduring, and lay it all at Your feet.<\/span><\/p>\n Please grant me the strength to abide in You as I find ways to meet my spouse’s needs. Help me to be gracious, kind, gentle, and sincere and allow my words and actions to bring peace and comfort. I understand that hard-hitting moments will come and blindside us, yet when they do, I ask that You draw close and provide us with a means to seek healing in Your precious presence.<\/span><\/p>\n I ask this in Your Holy name. Amen.<\/span><\/p>\n Application:<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n -Supporting a grieving spouse can be emotionally and physically taxing.\u00a0<\/span>What steps can you take to ensure you\u00a0<\/span>are caring for your\u00a0<\/span>own<\/span>\u00a0well-being this season?<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>Challenge:<\/span><\/em>\u00a0Identify one self-care practice (e.g., prayer, exercise, journaling) and\u00a0<\/span>commit to doing<\/span>\u00a0it regularly to stay replenished.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n -Take time to ask your spouse one specific question about how they’re feeling during this season, such as:\u00a0<\/span>“What part of this season feels hardest for you, and how can I help?”<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n Photo Credit: \u00a9Getty Images\/Halfpoint<\/span><\/p>\n <\/em>Alicia Searl<\/strong>\u00a0is a devotional author, blogger, and speaker that is passionate about pouring out her heart and pointing ladies of all ages back to Jesus. She has an education background and master\u2019s in literacy. \u00a0Her favorite people call her Mom, which is why much of her time is spent cheering them on at a softball game or dance class. She is married to her heartthrob (a tall, spiky-haired blond) who can whip up a mean latte. She sips that goodness while writing her heart on a page while her puppy licks her feet. Visit her website at\u00a0aliciasearl.com and connect with her on Instagram and Facebook.<\/p>\n We hope you and your spouse are challenged and encouraged by today’s devotional! For more of this premium<\/em> marriage devotional, visit here.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those\u00a0who\u00a0are\u00a0crushed\u00a0in spirit. Psalm 34:18 This\u00a0will be the third holiday season without my mom, and while in some ways this heavy burden of grief has gotten a bit easier to carry, the heaviness in my heart and the emptiness in my stomach remain. In full transparency, I<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":12647,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[39],"tags":[759,86,269,2121,719,3468,588,632,65],"class_list":["post-12646","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-christian-living","tag-crosswalk","tag-daily","tag-devotional","tag-grieving","tag-holidays","tag-lovingly","tag-marriage","tag-spouse","tag-support"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/biblelon.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12646","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/biblelon.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/biblelon.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/biblelon.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/biblelon.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=12646"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/biblelon.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12646\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/biblelon.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/12647"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/biblelon.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=12646"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/biblelon.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=12646"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/biblelon.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=12646"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}