<\/p>\n
If you\u2019re like many single moms, the holidays can be the most difficult time of the year. Everywhere you look you see happy little married couples, and it doesn\u2019t help when the radio blares the tunes \u201cHave a Holly Jolly Christmas\u201d or \u201cI\u2019ll be Home for Christmas.\u201d \u00a0When I was a single mom, it seemed like everywhere I turned there was an opportunity for an emotional meltdown. Then after a couple of years, I changed my strategy concerning holiday wellness from being reactive to proactive. And it worked! \u00a0I actually found myself riding on top of the holiday spirit.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve listed ideas to implement in your holiday planning. Not all of them will fit your list of possibilities, but even if you select only a few, you\u2019re ahead of the game. It\u2019s a fact we can\u2019t ignore: we determine much of our holiday joy.<\/p>\n
Redefine your definition of family.\u00a0<\/strong>A household does not need a physical husband in order to be complete. Wholeness is not found in marriage but in Christ. Jesus is your husband, and He alone can fill every void.<\/p>\n Instead of focusing on what\u2019s going wrong, focus on what\u2019s going right.\u00a0<\/strong>We get to choose what we think. We are a sum of our thoughts; therefore, if you want joy, choose God\u2019s thoughts. \u00a0If you want hopelessness, choose your thoughts.<\/p>\n Start new family traditions.\u00a0<\/strong>Christmas doesn\u2019t have to look like years past. Force yourself to engage in creative activities. \u00a0For example, buy red and green pajamas for the children followed by a movie night. \u00a0Make a popcorn garland and nibble away.<\/p>\n Set boundaries.<\/strong> Know what you can and cannot do. Tell your friends and family what you\u2019re capable of this year. If they offer well-meaning advice that doesn\u2019t feel right, stick to your guns. \u00a0You\u2019re the one living in your skin. Next year might be different.<\/p>\n Do something out of the ordinary.\u00a0<\/strong>Volunteer or treat yourself to a massage. Go to an event you normally would not attend. Expose yourself to new adventures you\u2019ve never had time for in the past: opera, sports events. Partake in the season in a new light.<\/p>\n Be realistic with \u201cwhat is.\u201d\u00a0<\/strong>Accept your difficulty and loss. When you fight it, you can\u2019t receive God\u2019s peace. Our greatest times to experience God\u2019s nearness happen when we\u2019re struggling. Call on Jesus and remember, this too shall pass.<\/p>\n Lower your expectations.\u00a0<\/strong> Don\u2019t expect others to fill your emptiness. We can\u2019t rely on our friends, former spouses or even children to meet the deepest needs of our heart. \u00a0Only Christ is able. \u00a0<\/p>\n Deal with your loneliness factor in a godly way.<\/strong> The most damaging scenario for both you and the children would be to get involved in a seasonal intimate relationship because you\u2019re suffering from \u201cwhat used to be\u201d or what \u201chasn\u2019t happened yet.\u201d<\/p>\n Dive into God\u2019s Word.\u00a0<\/strong>Find creative ways to meditate on Scripture. Make Christmas about the Savior. Write your feelings to God in a journal. \u00a0Draw near to Him, and He will draw near to you. \u00a0I still have my single-mom journals. It became my life source, a discipline I still practice today.<\/p>\n And remember, this is only ONE season out of your life.<\/strong>\u00a0 If you live to be ninety, this December will one day be only a distant memory; however, it does matter this year in the well-being of your children. So live it intentionally as if it\u2019s the last one you\u2019ll have to invest in their holiday album of treasured memories.\u00a0<\/p>\n I\u2019ve been encouraging single parents for several decades and trust me, things never stay the same. So take heart. Let the jingle bells ring and make this Christmas a memorable one.<\/p>\n And now may the Lord give increase to you and your children. Psalm 115:14\u00a0<\/p>\n Pam Kanaly<\/strong>, selected as National Mother of Achievement \u2013 2015 – in Washington, DC, and best-selling author of\u00a0<\/em>The Single Mom and Her Rollercoaster Emotions, remains one of the nation\u2019s leading advocates for single mothers. She is the co-founder of the national organization Arise Ministries bringing encouragement to single mothers worldwide through their online education center: EQUIP. Pam is a favorite in Oklahoma having been nominated by the Governor for Oklahoma Mother of Achievement \u2013 2015<\/strong>. Pam and her husband Rich reside in Edmond, Oklahoma. ariseministries.net<\/em><\/p>\n Publication date: December 10, 2015<\/span><\/p>\n Photo Credit: \u00a9iStock\/Getty Images Plus\/Drazen Zigic<\/span><\/p>\n Originally published December 06, 2022.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" If you\u2019re like many single moms, the holidays can be the most difficult time of the year. Everywhere you look you see happy little married couples, and it doesn\u2019t help when the radio blares the tunes \u201cHave a Holly Jolly Christmas\u201d or \u201cI\u2019ll be Home for Christmas.\u201d \u00a0When I was a single mom, it seemed<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":13125,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[39],"tags":[813,3732,858,543,1561],"class_list":["post-13124","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-christian-living","tag-christmas","tag-encouraging","tag-mom","tag-single","tag-tips"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/biblelon.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13124","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/biblelon.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/biblelon.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/biblelon.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/biblelon.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=13124"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/biblelon.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13124\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/biblelon.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/13125"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/biblelon.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=13124"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/biblelon.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=13124"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/biblelon.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=13124"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}