<\/p>\n
\u201cNo discussion between two persons can be of any use, until each knows clearly what it is that the other asserts\u201d (Lewis Carroll).<\/p>\n
WHEN WE DISCUSS THINGS, WE OFTEN ERR BY TALKING WHEN WE SHOULD BE LISTENING. Taking it for granted that we understand what the other person is saying, we\u2019re primarily concerned with whether they understand what we are saying to them. Understanding is not as important to us as being understood, and so our discussions often fizzle out ineffectively. What could have been a dialogue between two inquirers, and therefore an exercise in understanding, becomes a pair of monologues between two talkers, both of whom are in a defensive crouch rather than a learning posture.<\/p>\n
Our English word \u201cdiscuss\u201d comes from a compound Latin verb: dis-<\/em> (\u201capart\u201d) + quatere<\/em> (\u201cto shake\u201d). So, the literal meaning to \u201cshake apart.\u201d But the thing \u201cshaken apart\u201d is not one\u2019s counterpart in the discussion \u2014 it\u2019s the subject being discussed.<\/em> To discuss something means to inspect it closely by exchanging ideas and viewpoints. When two people discuss a matter, they speak to one another about it in an effort to ascertain truth or reach agreement. To discuss is to \u201ctalk over\u201d something \u2014 in other words, to consider<\/em> a topic by means of conversation.<\/em> The colloquial expression \u201cput our heads together\u201d is a colorful way of describing the cooperation that occurs in a discussion.<\/p>\n Discussion helps to clarify our thinking. \u201cReading makes a full man, meditation a profound man, discourse a clear man\u201d (Benjamin Franklin). We learn not just by thinking but by conversing, and most of us need to go through the give-and-take of a few discussions before we can see a subject clearly. \u201cAs iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend\u201d (Book of Proverbs).<\/p>\n But there is another, more important, reason discussions are valuable: they help us along the path to common<\/em> understanding. It is through discussion that groups of people meld their visions into a shared vision and their commitments into mutual commitments.<\/p>\n Discussions can sometimes turn contentious, as we all know, but they don\u2019t have to. And when they\u2019re conducted respectfully, as among friends, they are one of life\u2019s biggest joys. Debates and defenses have their place occasionally, but discussions have theirs too.<\/p>\n \u201cThe more the pleasures of the body fade away, the greater to me is the pleasure and charm of conversation\u201d (Plato).<\/p>\n Gary Henry \u2013 WordPoints.com + AreYouaChristian.com<\/p>\n