<\/p>\n
Years ago, when my husband and I were being interviewed for membership at a church, the pastor looked me in the eye and said, \u201cYou are a young couple who could easily be taken advantage of by being asked to help in many ministries of the church. How will you manage not to overload yourself if that were to happen?\u201d I looked at him and almost too bluntly stated, \u201cI am not a people pleaser. If asked to do something that I am unable to do or that is not part of my God-given gifting, I will say \u201cNo\u201d to the request. The Pastor was somewhat taken aback, BUT was happy with my response. What if I were someone who said yes to everything I was asked to do in a church setting? Eventually, I would become burnt out and frankly, resentful as a result of everything I was doing. A scenario like that would NOT bring glory to God.\u00a0<\/p>\n
On the flip side, you might be someone who LOVES to be involved in all aspects of church ministry. You literally thrive in that environment. BUT even though it seems helpful, are you blocking another from serving within their gifting?\u00a0<\/p>\n
With the example from my own life, it would be different if I were saying \u201cno\u201d to helping out just because I didn\u2019t want to. There is a difference between \u201cunable to\u201d due to other commitments such as to a young family, for instance, or to aging parents or due to a job schedule that would prevent you from helping during the times required to having all the time in the world with the ability to help and then just saying no.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Man\u2019s interests are insidious. We may think we are making a wise, prayerful decision by saying no to a request or saying yes to EVERYTHING. In fact, we are either pleasing ourselves OR trying to please others, rather than truly discerning what God would have us do and where He wants us to serve, aligning with HIS interests for our life.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Whose approval matters most in your life? The Apostle Paul asks the same questions\u2026 “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Galatians 1:10 He later answers\u2026 \u201cWe must obey God rather than men.\u201d \u00a0Acts 5:29\u00a0<\/p>\n
A life centered on God requires prioritizing His will over human expectations. Let\u2019s take a look at how we can ensure that God\u2019s interests are front and center in our lives.<\/p>\n
“He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God”. Micah 6:8\u00a0<\/p>\n
Last week I hosted a morning Women\u2019s Bible Fellowship at my home. When I tell you I cleaned areas I hadn\u2019t cleaned in years, I did! I was going through my house with a microscope, scrubbing every tiny nook and cranny. I even cleaned my shower! Not sure anyone was planning on LOOKING in my shower, let alone taking a shower! But there you have it. Lol. \u00a0<\/p>\n
We do that, don\u2019t we? We think that people are coming into our house with white gloves and magnifying glasses to inspect the cleanliness of our homes. Yet, I\u2019m sure you are NOT different from me, I NEVER look or take notice of ANY of these things. I am just so happy to be in a warm, inviting home with people I care about. What matters to me is their heart, not what the inside of their house looks like.\u00a0<\/p>\n
When we endeavor to do anything for another, whether for family, our children\u2019s school, or our church, if our motives align with God\u2019s interests to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with God, then we are in the center of God\u2019s will. However, if in any of those actions there is an ounce of wondering how you will appear to others or any pride that might rise, then you know you need to confess this to the Lord, reassess your motives, and proceed accordingly.\u00a0<\/p>\n
The ONLY Person you need to be concerned with is Jesus when moving forward with a task \u2014whatever that might be\u2014an eternal perspective matters, NOT temporary approval.\u00a0<\/p>\n
There is a difference, however, between self-sacrifice when the Lord has convicted you to act in that manner for a certain situation, than becoming someone\u2019s doormat for their approval. Just to be clear.\u00a0<\/p>\n
When humility with an eternal perspective drives your actions, you can be confident that you are more concerned with God\u2019s interests than man’s.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Then Saul said to Samuel, \u201cI have sinned. I violated the Lord\u2019s command and your instructions. I was afraid of the men, and so I gave in to them. 1 Samuel 15:24\u00a0<\/p>\n
I have a dear person in my life who is a people pleaser. As a result, they get so frustrated by how many people consistently violate their boundaries and, in the end, cause them so much stress. Yet their fear of what \u201ccould happen\u201d or what the other party \u201cmight do\u201d pushes them to allow their boundaries to be broken. This creates a never-ending cycle of being taken advantage of and, frankly, a lot of anxiety. This is the<\/p>\n
negative side to being more focused on man\u2019s interests than what is best for themselves, let alone what is best for them. \u00a0<\/p>\n
Sometimes, fear of man may cause us to violate the Lord\u2019s commands, as we see above in the example from King Saul\u2019s life. There is danger in always seeking to please man. Fearing rejection may cause us to do something contrary to God\u2019s commands. Our desire for acceptance may even lead to a compromise in our Biblical values, such as a girl who feels pressured to have sex. Out of fear of losing her boyfriend, she gives in to a pregnancy. Her life as a Believer is now turned totally upside down.\u00a0<\/p>\n
As you can see, there is a difference between the above examples and “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others”. Philippians 2:3-4 This verse does not mean that we disrespect ourselves or that we disobey God in order to serve the interests of others, but rather that we check our own hearts to see if we ourselves are bulldozing over another due to our own selfish ambition or vain conceit.\u00a0<\/p>\n
What are the signs you may be focused on man\u2019s interests? Constant need for approval, fear of speaking truth, compromising values to fit in, or measuring success by worldly standards.\u00a0<\/p>\n
“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well”. Matthew 6:33\u00a0<\/p>\n
It\u2019s so interesting that as a self-proclaimed rule follower, I am NOT a people pleaser. If there are rules anywhere, I will abide by them. This could stem from being a Miss Goody Two-Shoes since childhood, but again, it is only about rules, not about pleasing others. \u00a0<\/p>\n
What\u2019s more compelling is that I was bullied mercilessly in middle school. I was very tall and thin, with buck teeth. You would think this scenario would\u2019ve been the perfect storm for creating a people pleaser. But that didn\u2019t happen. Although I hid from my parents until I was much older, what had happened to me in middle school due to shame, not because I feared what they would say, but because those girls made me feel ashamed, my parents are the reason I did NOT become a people pleaser. Why? Because they constantly lifted me with affirmations and encouragement. They poured into me about the person I would become and my worth.\u00a0<\/p>\n
When we seek the Lord first in all things, He WILL pour into us. He reminds us that we have been chosen before the worlds began. He is our Heavenly Father who sent His Son, Jesus, to die for our sins. We are His beloved. When we know our standing before God, we have no reason to seek the approval of others, for we are in Christ Jesus, heirs to the Kingdom of God. There is no fear as God\u2019s children. He is our provider and protector.<\/p>\n
How do we shift our focus to God? Daily prayer, seeking God\u2019s guidance, studying Scripture regularly, surrounding ourselves with godly influences, practicing obedience in small decisions, and developing a reverent fear of God over man.\u00a0<\/p>\n
As a result, we will reap the benefits of prioritizing God\u2019s interests, including inner peace, confidence, spiritual growth, and maturity. No longer will we be concerned with man\u2019s interests, but our hearts will be set on God\u2019s interests.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Dear Heavenly Father, let the mind of Christ rule my heart in all things. Are you more concerned with God\u2019s Interests or Man\u2019s?\u00a0<\/p>\n
What steps will you take to adjust your mindset to one that puts God\u2019s interests first?<\/p>\n
Photo Credit: \u00a9Getty Images\/FG Trade<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n Karen Del Tatto\u00a0<\/strong>is a blogger, author, women’s ministry leader, pastor’s wife, mom, and grandmother who is passionate about the Word of God. Her blog Growing Together in Grace and Knowledge and her books Choosing to Trust God: Breaking the Habit of Worry, A 30-Day Devotional\u00a0<\/em>and Choosing to Trust God Companion Journal<\/em> reveal her heart for providing Biblical insights to encourage women to grow in and through their struggles while equipping them to overcome. Karen and her husband live in Rhode Island and enjoy walks in the woods, owling, and spending time with their grandchildren.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Years ago, when my husband and I were being interviewed for membership at a church, the pastor looked me in the eye and said, \u201cYou are a young couple who could easily be taken advantage of by being asked to help in many ministries of the church. How will you manage not to overload yourself<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":26009,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[39],"tags":[4491,238,8679,1566],"class_list":{"0":"post-26008","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-christian-living","8":"tag-concerned","9":"tag-gods","10":"tag-interests","11":"tag-mans"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/biblelon.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26008","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/biblelon.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/biblelon.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/biblelon.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/biblelon.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=26008"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/biblelon.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26008\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/biblelon.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/26009"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/biblelon.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=26008"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/biblelon.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=26008"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/biblelon.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=26008"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}