<\/p>\n
\u201cLittle said is soon amended\u201d (Miguel de Cervantes).<\/p>\n
THE ONLY WAY TO AVOID HAVING TO MAKE AMENDS IS TO DO NOTHING. If we\u2019re actively involved with life, doing our best to do as we should, we\u2019re going to make some mistakes, and when we do, amends will have to be made. Looking at it one way, the less we say and do, the fewer apologies we\u2019ll have to make. \u201cLittle said is soon amended,\u201d as Cervantes said, and there is definitely some wisdom in that. But on the other hand, life is about more than the negative avoidance of mistakes; in a larger sense, it\u2019s about the positive use of our abilities to accomplish as many good results as we can. We can\u2019t give up or stop trying. Making amends is just one of life\u2019s necessities.<\/p>\n
In its most basic sense, to make amends is to \u201cmend\u201d a situation that has been \u201cbroken\u201d by an error that we\u2019ve committed. And, of course, to \u201cmend\u201d something is to \u201crepair\u201d it. Thus the American Heritage Dictionary<\/em> defines \u201camends\u201d as \u201creparation or payment made as satisfaction for insult or injury.\u201d So when we make amends, we \u201crepair\u201d what we\u2019ve damaged, making \u201creparation\u201d for our wrongdoing.<\/p>\n To make amends honorably, we must do a good bit more than offer an apology, though that\u2019s the obvious starting point. Even at the level of apology, we must do more than express regret that someone\u2019s been hurt. We must (a) acknowledge the wrongfulness<\/em> of what we\u2019ve done, (b) commit ourselves to change<\/em> (that is, promise that we would never do the same thing again, even in the same circumstances), and then (c) make restitution<\/em> for the damage done, to whatever extent that may be possible. Obviously, many wrongs do damage for which no perfect restitution can be made, but we should never fail to try. If we\u2019ve gotten out of the blaming mode and into the amendment mode, the question we\u2019ll always ask is, \u201cWhat can I do to make it up to you?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n Making amends is one of the most difficult things in life, but it\u2019s also one of the most important. If we can\u2019t do it eagerly, we can at least do it willingly. And just as important, the making of amends is something we should do regularly. Timely amendments are a part of the maintenance that keeps our relationships working. If we value these relationships, we\u2019ll spare no effort to fix them when they break.<\/p>\n \u201cKeep your friendships in repair\u201d (Ralph Waldo Emerson).<\/p>\n Gary Henry \u2013 WordPoints.com + AreYouaChristian.com<\/p>\n