Church is supposed to be a place where you can go to be discipled and built up in your walk with the Lord. Some have even called it a hospital for the hurting. If this is true, and church should be a place of healing, the last thing you would expect to happen in church is that you would end up in an abusive environment. However, this happens in church, and maybe it happens more often than we want to admit.
Sadly, the type of abuse is not typically physical, but spiritual, mental, and emotional. The effects of this abuse have caused some to walk away from the church altogether, and others to even walk away from the Lord. While these things are tragedies, I believe it is possible to spot an abusive church and, hopefully, when you do, you would run from that type of church and do it quickly. I must be clear that all churches are not abusive, but there are some rotten apples in the bunch. My simple prayer is that you would recognize the signs of an abusive church, because if you are in one, they are hurting you more than you may even realize.
Here are nine signs of an abusive church:
1. Authoritarian Leadership
One major sign of an abusive church is when there is one leader who is in full control. Typically, in these types of churches, there are no checks and balances. What the pastor wants, the pastor gets. In fact, many times you are made to feel as if you are there to serve the whims and needs of the pastor instead of the pastor serving you. These types of leaders don’t have servant hearts, and their character rarely reflects the heart and compassion of Jesus. Many times, in these churches, the pastor is treated as if he is on a higher plane spiritually, and he has a relationship with God that no one in the congregation can ever approach or replicate.
Authoritarian leaders have a way of making you feel diminished or small if you don’t see things the way they do. God forbid you would disagree with “the man of God,” My friends, these are big red flags and should tell you something is wrong. Even though leaders have greater responsibility, that should also come with greater humility.
“Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave— just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Matthew 20:26-28
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