October 29, 2025
How Not To Regret Your Words
KAREN EHMAN
Lee en español
“The one who guards his mouth and tongue keeps himself out of trouble.” Proverbs 21:23 (CSB)
It was a girls’ getaway weekend where some besties and I brought along a new friend to spend time thrift shopping, dining out, hanging around the hotel, and chatting over lattes. It was the break I desperately needed, and it all went well — that is, until the ride home.
The new friend made a joke about her looks. Awkwardness hung in the air when she finished speaking. Always one to fill the silence, I piped up, making a self-deprecating joke about my own looks. However, it wasn’t very funny. In fact, although I didn’t mean it to be, it could’ve been interpreted as a bit offensive.
The conversation shifted, but for the rest of the trip, I kept mulling over what I’d said, gathering feelings of shame and stupidity and rolling them into one big ball of regret.
I’ve often wished I’d kept my words to myself, stopping them at the thought stage before they leaked out of my lips. How can we learn to lock our lips, preventing them from causing remorse or fractured friendships?
Proverbs 21:23 gives us some advice: “The one who guards his mouth and tongue keeps himself out of trouble.”
The original Hebrew word for “guards” here implies putting a hedge around something. Hedges are protective, keeping things from either escaping or entering. A hedge also isn’t something you hurriedly erect. It takes forethought.
For example, I plant a hedge of marigolds around my garden early each spring. The rabbits that love to crunch on carrots do not like to munch on marigolds. Therefore, they stay away. But to be successful, I have to think ahead, planting that hedge early.
Hedging our words in — intentionally thinking about them before they escape our lips — can save us a lot of trouble and even keep us from sinful behavior. Perhaps we should adopt a few “rules of tongue” when it comes to guarding our mouths:
- If we feel a “check” in our spirit that something we are thinking of saying might offend others, we can lock our lips, keeping those words inside.
- If we sense a little guilty glee over something we are about to say — knowing it is a “zinger” that might diminish or make fun of someone else — we could halt the snarky comments before they are released.
- If we sense that a conversation is taking a turn toward gossip, we might guard our mouths by ending the conversation or at least changing the subject.
Today, may we determine to stop imprudent words from leaking through our lips, instead hedging them in at the thought stage and then replacing them with kind and productive words — or even occasionally with blessed silence.
Dear God, help me to set a guard over my mouth, carefully noticing what I am about to say and discerning whether it is wise or not. I want my words to please You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
OUR FAVORITE THINGS
Need a resource to help you watch your words and improve your relationships? Grab the 10-year-anniversary, updated release of Karen’s New York Times bestselling book Keep It Shut: What to Say, How to Say It, and When to Say Nothing at All. It includes a 10-day devotional and a bonus chapter on how we talk to ourselves. If you preorder it by November 3, you get a host of digital freebies, including social media graphics, lock screens, a five-day devotional PDF, a “Watch Your Words” printable, and a podcast episode on how to speak the truth in love. Check it out here.
ENGAGE
To celebrate the 10th anniversary re-release of Keep It Shut, Karen is giving away a “Gracious Speech” gift basket that includes a CSB Lifeway Women’s Bible, a set of pastel highlighters, Bible tabs, a leather journal, some delicious treats, and more. Head to her Instagram for details.
FOR DEEPER STUDY
Psalm 141:3, “LORD, set up a guard for my mouth; keep watch at the door of my lips” (CSB).
Can you remember a time when you did not guard your lips but spoke in a way you later regretted? What happened?
If you could revisit the situation and behave differently, what words would you utter instead — or would you decide to just remain silent?
We’d love to hear from you! Share your thoughts in the comments.
© 2025 by Karen Ehman. All rights reserved.
Proverbs 31 Ministries
P.O. Box 3189
Matthews, NC 28106
www.Proverbs31.org
