I started going to counseling when I was 23. Though I was apprehensive at first, it has truly transformed my life. God has worked through not only my therapist but the coping skills I’ve learned along the way. Now, 6 years into therapy, I feel stronger mentally. I’m better equipped to deal with circumstances that occur, and I know how to regulate my nervous system. Nevertheless, there are a few concepts I still wrestle with daily. At the top of that list are my emotions.
Growing up in a chaotic household, I saw a full range of emotions. Sometimes, in one day, I’d witness anger, laughter, bitterness, joy, despair, and sadness—in that order. I’ve always been a highly emotional person, but I knew that just meant I cared for things deeply. It wasn’t until recently, however, that I realized the importance of processing the emotions we feel.
As a Christian, I’d categorized my emotions as good or bad. I felt the good ones and shoved down the bad ones. My therapist told me that’s not how Jesus feels about our feelings. He told me that God not only cares about my emotions but wants me to learn to process all of them healthily.
If you struggle to process the things you feel every day, here are 3 tips that might help:
1. Redefine Your Emotions
Somewhere along the path of being a highly emotional individual, I thought certain emotions were good (laughter, joy, excitement), and others were bad (anger, sadness, fear). The reality is that this belief isn’t true or biblical. If that were the case, our world would be even more messed up! People can express laughter, joy, or excitement and do bad things (especially if they aren’t walking in the Lord’s favor and direction). However, people can express anger, sadness, or fear and be the most committed disciples to Jesus Christ.
Jesus created us as human beings. That means that from the beginning of time, we were hand-crafted with intelligence, emotion, and character. The distinction between “good” and “bad” emotions has been born out of a society that feels the need to cover up emotions that feel uncomfortable and to display ones that feel good. But our emotions are not categorized in this way.
Redefining our emotions looks like realizing and understanding the value of our full range of emotions. Anger, sadness, fear, joy, laughter, and excitement aren’t “bad” or “good” in and of themselves. It’s what we do when we feel those emotions that can become sinful.
Ephesians 4:26 gives us a great example of this profound truth: “‘In your anger do not sin’: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry” (NIV).
Realizing this truth helped me realize that I don’t need to be ashamed for feeling sad, anxious, bitter, or angry, but it’s how I act and respond in those moments that matters most. God cares about us and our emotions—otherwise, why would He have given those feelings to us?
2. Make an Appointment with Your Feelings
Recently, my Papa passed away unexpectedly. He’d been sick for a few years with stomach issues, but a sudden heart attack took his life. One minute he was using the restroom, the next he was lifeless on the floor.
While it’s been a few weeks since his passing, and the grief is subsiding, I’ve struggled to sleep well at night. Instead of counting sheep, I find myself worrying about who I will lose next. Will it be my grandma? Will it be my husband? What if it’s me? After I’ve pondered these thoughts and shed a few tears, I fall asleep only to wake up to nightmares and restlessness a few hours later.
When I mentioned this to my counselor, he said it was time for me to make an appointment with my feelings. What he meant is that if we don’t take time to process things like anger, bitterness, or grief (the more unpleasant emotions we tend to avoid), they will come up at inconvenient times.
Making an appointment with your feelings looks different for everyone, but for me, it means taking time to sit, think, pray, process, and journal about what I’m experiencing. With my Papa, it means visiting my grandma, retelling stories about Papa, and allowing tears to flow.
Psalm 56:8 is a beautiful reminder of this principle: “You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book” (NLT).
Our tears, emotions, grief, and sorrow are not wasted. God tends to the broken-hearted just as He tends to the joyful. What matters is that you’re making space to both feel the emotions and move on (not forgetting, but choosing not to dwell on the feeling for extensive periods).
3. Journal a Prayer
The third and final way I like to process my emotions is through journaling a prayer to the Lord. We live in an ever-advancing technological society. Airpads, iPhones, and laptops are all the rage. But something within me breaks when I write in a physical journal with pen and paper in hand. I know it takes some time and energy, but getting my thoughts on paper is like freeing the built-up dams within my soul.
When I journal, I like to sit in my bedroom on the floor or bed with my hands open in a posture of prayer. After I’ve prayed and surrendered whatever it is I’m carrying to the Lord, I brain-dump my thoughts. Some days, it is organized, others it’s a mess of poems, free verse reflections, or day-to-day worries and tasks. What matters most is that I’m expressing how I really feel to the Lord. I’m not trying to cover up my worst bits or put on a facade—I’m pouring out the deepest and ugliest parts of myself so that I can be filled with more of Him.
In a recent prayer and journal time with the Lord, I wrote a poem entitled “Budding Artist or a Starving One.” I was feeling worn down from the work it takes to make it as an author and burnt out on serving others. It was a vulnerable, emotional, and heartbreaking piece. And yet, I felt better after I wrote it. Why? Because in those reflections, the Lord was speaking to me. He told me it was okay to let the emotions out. It was good. And He was well pleased.
Friend, I don’t know what emotions you’re avoiding or being consumed by today, but I want you to know that you’re seen and loved by a God who created you with these feelings. Emotions don’t need to consume our lives, but healthily processing them is something that God wants for all of us. Emotions aren’t in the driver’s seat, but it’s okay for them to be along for the ride in the journey of life.
It’s my prayer that these tips will not only help you regulate your nervous system but live in the emotional freedom that processing how you feel brings. Remember: God cares about your emotions—all of them. And He cares about you!
Agape, Amber
Photo Credit: ©Unsplash/Priscilla Du Preez
Amber Ginter is a teacher-turned-author who loves Jesus, her husband Ben, and granola. Growing up Amber looked for faith and mental health resources and found none. Today, she offers hope for young Christians struggling with mental illness that goes beyond simply reading your Bible and praying more. Because you can love Jesus and still suffer from anxiety. You can download her top faith and mental health resources for free to help navigate books, podcasts, videos, and influencers from a faith lens perspective. Visit her website at amberginter.com.
